Sarging Bars - SteviePUA

On Friday I met Paul Gascoigne (Gazza), the former England footballer, in a club in Newcastle. Days earlier, I'd been telling my girl about the best goal I ever saw. It was Paul Gascoigne's goal for England against Scotland in 1996. I showed her the goal on Youtube and she had to admit to being impressed at Gazza's skill in chipping the ball over Colin Hendry's head, running around him and volleying the ball into the back of the net.

Now, sitting in the corner of the club was Gazza and his two friends. Or should I call them 'minders'? Or maybe they were 'carers' because Gazza was in a bad state. He was totally wasted from the booze and hardly knew where he was. I didn't recognise him at first, but sure enough, I looked again, and it was definitely him.

Gazza was drinking Guinness and seemed to also be under the influence of his friends who were lining up shots for him and moving him around the club. 'Paul, over here! Gazza, man, this is yours', beckoning to him and trying to get him to focus. Gazza staggered around half-propped up by the people shaking his hand. There was a private party upstairs and hot girls were coming down to meet him. Some hugged him but he didn't seem to quite register who they were. A vacant smile suggested enjoyment, generally, though.

Then Gazza saw me. We locked eyes and Gazza seemed to be hallucinating. 'Say that again, mate, and I'll f***ing...', waving his fist in my direction. I looked behind me to see who he was threatening. But there was only me there. He repeated his warning a second time, though I had not spoken to him at all! I just smiled and acknowledged him with a nod of my head. A glass was smashed by his entourage near the entrance and the commotion increased.

Outside the club, barely 5 minutes later, he was my new friend, introducing himself and shaking my hand while he smoked and sang songs with the club doorman who seemed as excited as the chicks to be hanging out with Gazza. Welcome to Merry Old England.

I gatecrashed the private party and the doorman arranged for Gazza to have a private room upstairs too, and we hung out. Jimmy '5 Bellies' Gardner appeared on the scene and took charge. Gazza was moving on and his friends/carers were arguing over who was going to look after Paul that night.

Outside, 30,000 football supporters were leaving the stadium after a 5-1 Newcastle win over Cardiff. The police were everywhere and I found myself hoping the Newcastle fans wouldn't recognise their hero because it would only bring infinitely more partying to Gazza's scrambled senses.

Footage below.